Day 3… You dredded thing you. All I can say is a big fat ouch again… My bones hurt… Dag nabbit! And it is the weekend! I want to run around and go out for dinner and go shopping like normal people.
Still, this is my normal and shockingly I am becomming more comfortable with it. Yes, it hurts… But you know, I have come this far. It blows my mind to think this is my 4th treatment. I have made it this far on the road.
It may not seem a lot to some, but when you talk to all the Oncology team you would be amazed at how many people quit their treatment along the way. In fact, I have seen it for myself. The appointments were taking a long time so the gentleman in question and his encouraging daughter walked out and said as they left “Well it isn’t a big deal, you’ve done a couple”.
I know there are people who think it is some giant conspiracy to do chemotherapy but you know. I made an informed and calculated choice and I am comfortable with it.
I have now done 4 out of 6 treatments and whilst I can’t say “I feel great”… I can say that yes I feel some sense of achievement and satisfaction. I have learnt so much and you know, for the first time in my life, I can say I feel beautiful. For those who saw the pictures of my photo shoot you will know what I am referring to. I was shy, ashamed a little about being in the physical form I am in… Seeing the photos made me see myself differently. I felt real, and beautiful… And to see in a picture my husband, my children and my mother looking at me so adoringly… You can’t fake that… That is love. Real genuine love. They love me! And boy do I love them.
You’ve Got The Love I Need To See Me Through…
Anyway… Big news in this house hold today…
The Cancer Council of Western Australia are sending me a house cleaner!!! This sits strangely with me. I like my house clean for sure and yet, like many people I am told, I felt completely paranoid my house was too dirty for her to come into and clean! … I keep a tidy house, even with Chemo… But I started noticing things that ordinarily wouldn’t be noticeable. It took for my gorgeous hubby to come in and go “Babe, honestly, what are you doing?!” … Me and my frail self at the moment trying to nit pick at things… Alas, I got a big cuddle and demanded to go back and lay down.
I keep thinking there is somebody out there more fitting to have this than me! However my chemo co-ordinator said “Sweetie, if you don’t use these services then the funding goes to waste… Believe me, everybody is taken care of”…
What angels there are out there to do this for you?
Thank you to them…
I was talking to Rachael about this matter and she had grand images of something like this coming to help me out:
Me being the individual I am brought her back down to earth and said… “Well no… More like this….”
“Well Hello Handsome… Is That A Hose In Your Hand Or…..?”
Now now, let’s be serious… I am actually being sent a lovely and normal lady over who will fast become my angel. Just as the individuals who now give me natural therapies like Reiki, Bowen Therapy and Healing Touch have.
I want to shout out a huge thank you to those who throw themselves into the volunteering community for people going through tough times. These, to me, are the real heroes.
Lastly, once more, I want to thank the wonderful people who liked the album and shared it on Facebook of the photo session. Money will be donated from both the business and Kelly and myself to the Ovarian Cancer Foundation of Australia.
I have so much love and gratitude for all of you. To those who haven’t, click like and support the thousands of women out there who are combating this illness.