So we have returned from our trip away… An angel, an anonymous one, gave us this trip away with only the explanation “Because you need it” … We really did.
This week, I started to lose my hair. People were trying to be optimistic it wouldn’t happen… However, given that my chemo treatments take 7 hours to put in which is one of the longest, I knew it would.
When it first happened last Monday, I was a wreck! I didn’t think I could possibly feel that way… I was devastated. Thankfully, Gretchen was only 5 minutes from coming over. She was greeted at the door by a sobbing me. Much to my enjoyment, she took the piss out of me. It was EXACTLY what I needed. Being the big girly pants I am, I called my Mum and she came over. She did the nuturing, Gretchen did the piss taking, it was the PERFECT duo. Mum even congratulated Gretchen at one point.
We all had agreed to go and lop my hair off. Once we got the the hairdressers, my hairdresser, the poor love was mortified at having to get rid of all my hair so agreed to cut it into a pixie cut. This worked well as Kelly couldn’t escape work and wanted to be with me when it all went. So it was agreed he would do the final job.
$50 later, I walked out with a hair cut that would last me less than a week.
As each day went on, more and more fell out. I knew it was a matter of time. Oddly though, I became more and more comfortable with it. I think having it really cut short at the beginning of the week, to quote Gretchen in an SMS last night, “Did wonders for me psychologically”. Truth be told, it actually started to hurt. My head was so sensitive… It was like holding onto my hair was causing the pain.
I decided on Friday to take my wig out for a test drive to the shops. Oh boy did I feel paranoid…
Whilst I looked like this:
I really felt I was as noticeable as this:
Once I got back to my car, I realised it really wasn’t that bad. For those who know me and know what is happening they would know… Otherwise I was completely unnoticeable to anyone else. No big deal.
I awoke yesterday and said to Kelly “Hmmmm… I think we need to tip the cleaners” … Meanwhile we both looked at my pillow and saw piles and piles of hair. Every time Kelly, the kids or I touched it more and more came out.
I actually became rather good humoured about it.
Things I have learnt about chemo hair loss:
- It happens pretty quickly.
- It is possibly not right to invest in a puppy at this time, only one person in the house needs to be shedding.
- When they say your hair falls out, they mean ALL hair. My underarms are smoother than they have ever been and lordy lordy lord I am going to save a FORTUNE on waxing and shampoo…
- Doing impersonations of bald people is a lot of fun. Last night I thoroughly enjoyed replicating the “Nothing Compares To You” video clip and “Beds Are Burning”.
- I have an exceptionally nice shaped head. This I was not aware of.
- Applying make up is easier without a fringe or hair to worry about.
- My hair *IS* actually blonde! I have been dying it consistently since I was 15 so wouldn’t have a clue what it was like.
- Silk/Satin is your bald head’s best friend. Seriously.
- Somehow my boobs look bigger. (Disclaimer: This is not actually true but I am going to say this because it makes me feel better)
- Showering started making me ponder life and the universe. I had no hair to wash, nothing to shave… What the hell now?! Lather up, wash off and out I get! I am going to save the environment!
Alas, last night I was standing on the second story of the villa we stayed in and more hair was coming out. Kelly looked up from the ground floor and said “Right, it is time” … I looked down and replied “You’re right… It needs to be done” … I then stood in thought for a minute… He asked “You ok?” I replied “Well, yes… I was just thinking it would suck to be Rapunzel right now… ‘Oooo oooo let down your hair”…..” *Pause for effect* Oh wait!!! *Pulls out a bit of hair and drops it over the edge* “There you go babe, fashion your own ladder out of it!”
Kelly started laughing and said “Ok yeah, that was funny”.
So once the kids were asleep we began removing the little hair I had left. The pain went away immediately and, although I had a small tear when I looked up to see me looking like Angry Anderson, I then started taking the piss out of the situation (Much like Gretchen ) and we were relieved it was over with.
This morning we showed the kids who both laughed and then Miss said “Well, you do NOT look freaky at all Mum… Just funny!”
Then cementing his title as the ‘World’s Greatest Husband’ Kelly said to me after I had put my wig on “Babe, I actually prefer you without the wig and just the bald head” … I said “Bullshit! You are just saying that to make me feel better” …
*Drum roll for his response*
“No, no I don’t. I really do prefer the bald head. The wig isn’t the real you. I love the real you”…
I think my heart exploded in that moment.
I have decided to do a progressive head shot. I am still very coy about the whole process and reluctant to show anyone what I look like. At the same time, I want to own this and not play victim.
So I am going to replicate this shot all the way until my hair grows back to it’s original length… Kind of like a 2 year project.
So… For you, I will own it. I will show it.
We Did The Photo Like This Because It Is Real. It Is Me, My Flesh, My Body, Me.