Dearest Ethan,

Today is your 16th birthday. 16… Who can believe it? I still remember you as a cheeky 2 year old running around. I know I have said it many times before but you were truly one of the cutest kids I have seen in my life. Your gorgeous looks only surpassed by your personality which was greater and larger than life.

You were funny, you were quick, you were spritely and, honestly, you totally had me (Along with most others) completely wrapped around your finger. Your big brown eyes could win anyone over.

An Absolute Favourite Photo Of All Of Ours…

I think one of the things I loved most about you was how smart you were. You were just so switched on and you always had an answer for everything or a joke to break up a situation.

Again, I know I have said this 1000 times but I think you and everyone should know that your laugh always remains in my mind. I can still hear the cheekiness in it. It was my most favourite laugh out of a child. Everytime you laughed, I laughed.

This morning your Dad said to me “You know, today we probably would have taken him car shopping!” I looked at him with that raised eyebrow kind of look and he then said “Yeah ok, so he probably already would have had something by now up at the farm” … To which we both chuckled. It’s true!!!

It hurts every day without you here. We miss you more than we will ever have words for.

You now have two brothers and a sister and next year we are very much hoping to give you another brother or sister. All of us talk about you often to them and make sure they know who you are and how important you are to them.

Sometimes when little ‘J’ (Your brother) looks at me or your Mum, I am amazed at how he has these uncanny glimpses of you. His laugh is infectious like yours! I am sure you have something to do with that!

I remember years ago, before my last marriage break up (But very close to the time it happened) you said to me “Why are you married to him? I don’t like him! You should marry my Dad!” … Well mate, who’d have thought you were right? Again, I think your intervention somewhere made it happen. Your Dad is perfect for me and I love him so very much. Every day I am thankful for him, and thankful to you…
You were so wise young man!!! You were only 10 at the time yet already sensed something.

Then there is your Mum and your step Dad, Angela and Rohan. These are two people who are absolutely perfect for each other. I can not wait for September to see them get married on top of the ridge named after you. Though there will be heartbreak for those who love you so very dearly that you are not in body with us, we all know you will be there, watching and blessing them.

You know mate, people have asked your Mum and myself how is it that we can be such good friends considering the circumstances (You know, in regards to her and your Dad not being together anymore) but you know, I honestly believe we are blessed because of you. Your Mum is one of my best and closest friends and your step father is one of the people who can make me laugh the most. Your Dad, Mum, step father and step mother have a close relationship and you are a big part of that.

Your Mum, Aunty Kez, Step Mum and Daddy Love You Mate… So Much xoxo

Then there are all the wonderful family, your grandparents, your cousins, Aunts and Uncles and so on who just love you more than you could ever realise. We all love you so much honey… So so so so much…

This morning I cried tears for you because I really wish you were here. Again, I know you are watching over us all, watching over little ‘J’, watching over your Mum and Dad…

Thank you once again sweetheart for your Daddy… I still promise with all of my heart to love and adore him and make sure he is doing ok. Thank you again also for your Mummy and Rohan (And little J) who have made my life that much richer… Your Mum has given me unconditional friendship… I love them dearly.

And although there will always be sadness as each day, each year goes by that we don’t have you here, we are SO thankful we had 11 wonderful years of you, your laugh, your smile, your wonder…

Best Smile In The World…

Happy 16th birthday gorgeous, beautiful, perfect boy.

Your Mum and Dad did good with you…

Love you always darling…

Your step-mother and Daddy,

Leanne & Daddy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

P.S. This is my all time favourite song in the world… Which incidentally is the song your Dad and I dedicated to you… I have had it on repeat this morning thinking of you and thinking of all the memories…

I wanted to share it.

Foo Fighters: Resolve.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrRbJRTRGeM