I have been so lost for writing inspiration this week. Even today I sit dumbfounded. Then I thought to myself… There is actually something I want to say but have, admittedly, had resisted for fear of rubbing people the wrong way. However, I then realised that burden would be upon their shoulders and not mine. This isn’t meant to make anyone feel any less or lower or to brag, flaunt or generally be a, for want of a better term, ‘Ner Ner’ kind of post.
I have said it before, and I will say it again, I have a lot of wonderful people and support and I love you all dearly.
I decided to write this because it *IS* what is on my mind. Also, because I felt that this person needed to hear what I have to say.
Rachael. My dear friend Rachael…
You came into my life a little over 5 years ago now. You are 5 years younger than me yet have a maturity that is far beyond most people I know. Whether it is because you grew up in more than one country, whether it is because your well educated parents who are both very down to earth or whether it is just because it is in your nature, I don’t know. Maybe a little of them all.
You’ve always kind of sat back and let life be, and where our friendship is concerned, you have never pushed, nor demanded or asked anything from me. You have always been one of my best friends from the get go. We naturally clicked. However, this has only been made stronger by this period in my life.
The day I found out about the cancer you were there, on the floor, holding me and sobbing with me. For every single appointment I have had you have either called, texted, offered to go or demanded to go with me… For every single one of my little man’s appointments since you met him (I can honestly say without fail EVERY single one) you have called me or messaged me to send your love and checked in to see how it went. (And yet, I will sit there and try and remember when I even told you about it?! )
You have now organised a food drive for Kelly and myself during this time (Anyone who wants to help out, please locate her on my Facebook and message her) which I never asked you to do. (And to those who are contributing, you make Kelly and I both very choked up… It means a lot)
You have called me just about every day (And texted me on the ones you haven’t) just to ask how I am.
Yesterday, Kelly and I collectively had a TERRIBLE day with the stress of everything and both needed friends. Along with 3 very other special people (Who I asked to be there and am not mentioning names right now, they know who they are and I love you so much for being there for us, specifically though, Kelly), you just showed up at the house without being asked. Given you live on the complete other side of the city to me, this is big,
I could go on and on.
I want you to know that none of this is expected, nor is it demanded. You just do it and you have SO much going on as well as having a baby. I am completely blown away by the time and energy you put into this household.
I want to thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, for being an absolutely unbelievable support, especially when I have retreated so much into myself and have been so glum.
You are truly one of the best friends anyone could ever ask for. I don’t feel that I deserve to have someone put themselves out there so much for not only me, but my husband and children (Who incidentally, adore you also).
I wanted to buy you a little thank you gift… but everything I looked at seemed crappy. Kelly has told me this evening he has something in planning (I know what it is) and has asked for a bit of time…
So, in the meantime, I wanted you to know, and the people in my life who don’t know you or have never met you to understand what a special person you are with a very warm and generous heart. Even when I didn’t want you (Well, anyone not specifically you) around, you pushed and pushed until you got through the walls.
I love you girl. So much. I know I haven’t been able to articulate this… I am just doing my best to get by.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.