So I know that most of you know but, about a week ago I changed my diet. I had to for a couple of reasons. One being it is best in cancer/chemo treatment to have a diet rich in fruit/vegetables and all things natural. Also it is best for stress and keeping my immune system up and as healthy as possible.

I have also put on a lot of weight in the last 3-6 months (I am talking in the range of 10 to 15 kilos) which I am feeling so I want to shed it a little (I can’t too much because the chemo will strip some of it)

I WANT to change my diet because being over in Tassie with Chelle and Shane made me realise just how wonderful having fresh produce at your fingertips is. I have been cooking meals from scratch for a long while now but there has often been home made sauces or really meaty like dishes which I think has taken away from eating good and tasty produce without too much frou frou. In Tassie, Shane would cook dinner with vegetables picked from their garden, or Chelle would make a fruit plate with berries and peaches she/we had picked also. This was FANTASTIC.

Since doing this in the last week, I have eaten wonderful grilled chicken, or oven baked barramundi, lots of blueberries, avacado, fresh tomato, lots of greens… Trying new recipes like replicating a famous food chain’s Mex bowl that is one of mine and my bestie Rach’s favourites but making a healthy alternative. It was really delicious and again made with perfect produce! I’ve stopped drinking coffee and soft drinks, snacking on chocolate etc…

This is getting boring right???

Here’s the thing…

Today is my down day… As in… OH LORD PLEASE GIVE ME SOME CAKE OR SOME COKE OR COOKIES OR ICE-CREAM OR SOMETHING!!!

 SERIOUSLY! THIS IS HOW I AM FEELING RIGHT NOW! BE WARNED!

I had a fantastic breakfast… 1/3rd cup of Sultana Bran, a handful or gapes and a boiled egg… For a snack I had some v8 juice… For lunch I had a salmon salad with avacado… BUT I AM STARVING!!!

Every other day I have felt fine… Today I am wanting to climb the walls and claw out as much crap as I can! I cleaned out my pantry this week and threw away a lot of processed and unhealthy foods… I still have things (Please, I am a Mum also and they deserve their treats) but I am resisting… So hard though! I see the chocolate and the carton of ice cream and want to face plant into it!!!

Even worse… Today is take-away night. The kids have swimming lessons on Wednesdays and because we don’t finish there until later and then get caught in peak hour traffic we get take-away. All I can think of is gauging on a Big Mac. My gorgeous hubby said “It’s ok… It’s about balance… You have been eating so well… Moderation”  Will I go a Big Mac or a Seared Chicken something…  Hmph! As much as I love my vegies, sometimes you just want grease and fat… This is possibly caused by 2 nights of watching ‘The Biggest Loser’ (Yes, I have strayed from my Foxtel) and that sudden urge to want to eat!

STOP JUDGING ME!!!

The thing is, I am worried if I start to eat I won’t stop… I don’t think I am overweight… My BMI (Even with the added kilos) is in healthy range but it is about feeling healthy and taking control. Plus I want to know I am in the best possible shape for the road ahead.

Kelly has been doing this with me which is incredible to have the support in that way. Of course I told him he can have the benefits of my baking for his work (It isn’t fair to send him with the goods and not let him try them) Otherwise, he has been right there with me.
Have I mentioned that I love him?

I am trying to keep the exercise to light (Some time on our exercise bike, a walk or laps of a pool) as when I do heavy exercise it makes me “late” … Not condusive to my egg harvesting… This will change after that and during chemo…

So this is me today… PLEASE GOD PLEASE GIVE ME A LADLE AND A BUCKET OF CHOCOLATE ICE-CREAM! (Or the strength not to want it right now! )

I Watched This Episode The Other Day! I Wanted To Slap Him And Tell Him To Quit Moaning… IT IS ONLY 8 SCOOPS AND 8 TOPPINGS! Put On Your Big Girl Pants!

I’m not really angry, it isn’t you. It’s me. I am just hungry. I would be a useless model (Even if they do say “Oh I do eat burgers” … BAH!” )