So we saw the Oncologist on Thursday in case you missed it.

I am going to run through it quickly as I can as I can’t be arsed typing.

Positives:

• We are now meeting with Oncology Fertility Specialists who are going to do what they can to preserve my reproductive system and the fertility that goes with it during chemo. They will also consult on IUI/IVF and such in the future. Our chances of having a baby have gone from 0% to at least 5%…

• They are *trying* to avoid a hysterectomy for the moment.

• Our oncology specialists are amazing and really trying to do everything as quickly as possible.

• My oncology registrar reminds me a great deal of my friend Jo-Ann… Almost like a doppleganger. Somehow it is oddly comforting as it is almost like Jo-Ann is holding my hand in the room… Bizarre huh?

• My oncology HOD wears a very loud shirt which strangely makes him rather more approachable. Plus he is nice and educated and kept saying “Leanne, you are quite fortuitous!” … If I had a dollar for every time I would have at least 10 bucks.

• On most days I take the piss out of the situation. If I didn’t, I would curl up in a ball and sob my heart out (Ok so I have done that too!… All in moderation… Like a good recipe “1 part laughter, 2 parts sorrow = a balanced cancer patient)

• A special diet means I am losing a bit of weight. Considering I have put on 10 kilos in the last year, this isn’t really a bad thing.

• I am really starting to realise who my most real and genuine friends are. People who are out and willing to support me and my family every step of the way. I am not holding it against anyone other wise, it is just making me appreciate and be aware of who comes through for you in crisis situations. 

• Lastly, the CT scans and XRAYS and Bloods have all come back clear in the last couple of days. So hopefully there isn’t anything they have missed.

• They are trying to make sure Kelly and I still are able to get to Tasmania for New Years.

• My prognosis is still, at this stage, excellent and sitting on 90% plus survival…

  I also want to give a BIG shout out to Kelly’s work. They have been phenomenally supportive of us both and allowed Kelly to be there for me every step of the way. It has been really hard and to have them back him up and support him has made one thing less stressful. Much love to you all xoxo

 Negatives:

• I am back in for surgery this Monday. YES! As in the Monday right before Christmas. They are removing my left fallopian tube, a section of my bowel (This is being done just for testing purposes and not because they believe cancer is present) and general internal scanning. They are also now going to stage the cancer. It is a Grade 1, we know this, but they need to see if it is 1A, B, C etc etc etc… They will also biopsy some of my lymph nodes.

• They need to do this surgery to be SURE there is NOTHING they have missed. Ordinarily they would have done all of this in the initial operation but because they weren’t expecting me to be cancerous in the first place they didn’t.

• They have now spotted a cyst on my right ovary. Presently it does not look suspicious but they are going to biopsy it to be on the safe side. More vigilance this time round.

• I HAVE to have chemo. No ifs ands or buts. This is in large part due to the fact there was a minor rupture when removing my left ovary (The cancerous one). They need to give me some courses to kill off any potential threat that may have come into contact with any other organ etc.

• The worst bit… As a result of the chemo I at NO stage will be able to visit my little man in hospital or be near him during his operation. He is due to be in hospital for 2 months so other than SKYPE I can not see him. This kills both Kelly and I. We are gutted. I can’t be there for him when he needs me the most. I am so thankfully he is Kelly’s little shadow as at least Daddy will be there with him.

  I do worry about Kelly and Missy also as they will be back and forth between us both.  

• I also won’t be able to go and see my new niece/nephew who is due in January.

• On the same tangent as figuring out who my friends are, I am starting to see who else is using me to up their status symbol. Also those who are too afraid to talk to me about it. Honestly people, as I have said before, there isn’t really ANYTHING that can upset me anymore than what the whole situation already has. Sheesh!

So I did end up writing a lot…

Every hour I change how I am feeling. I have moments I cry, moments I laugh… And this weekend is hard as I am now on a low fibre diet and from tomorrow a liquid only diet. I miss my brother and sister-in-law and Rach and Steven who are all away at the moment. However, I am TRYING my hardest to laugh as much as possible and take each day as it comes. There are moments I am bitter it is happening, and moments I am ready to fight the world. There are moments I want to curl into a ball, and moments I want to sing and dance. Cancer = split personality at times.

Anyway, that’s it for today.

Me xoxoxoxoxo