Kelly and I are suffering from a real problem in our relationship. This problem is so big, I just don’t know if we can make it through it. I have suggested councilling, separation, mediation and even a labotomy (For him this is  ) 

A Labotomy Bargain Dr Nick!

This problem, you ask? I think I am a comic genius, a gift from god, made to walk this earth to make it a better place for all of mankind… hilarious you might say… And he DOESN’T! (Even now I am losing it laughing and he is laying next to me shaking his head).

What do you do to rectify this issue?

I personally think that he feels that I am brilliant, but will not release this info for fear of recognising in himself that he is comically lacking.

Take, exhibit A. Yesterday we were driving through the suburb he used to live in past places we used to hang out. I started singing “Memories” under my breath. He turned to me and said “Huh? What? What are you saying?” So I started singing louder and louder… “Misty watered coloured memmmmooorrrriiieeesssssss….” To which he followed, very seriously and with a rather disturbed look on his face, said with mild disdain and confusion “OF WHAT?!” …

My response… “Offfffffffffffffff thhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeee waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy weeeee weerrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” …

Now this, had me in fits and still makes me laugh 24 hours on. He, however, shook his head at me and says it was terrible. How could he? Honestly? I feel that was truly witty and magnificant!

He, however, feels I highbrowed earlier in the day at the movies. He won a toy dinosaur and a toy monkey in a skill tester. He put the dinosaur in front of me (Who was holding the monkey) and acted out as if the dinosaur got the monkey to help him across a river then had the ultimate revenge by eating the monkey. I, meanwhile, dancing the monkey from side to side, chanted back with “Ha ha haha haaaaaaaaaa I survived the ice-age”

Now, while this is amusing to me (Mostly because hearing Kelly giggle makes me giggle and melt a little), I feel my memories rendition was brilliant!

You see, I think I have safely established the ‘Dad Joke’ role in this relationship. The way I see it is to just go for it, you may get a laugh, you may not, but the glory is in the fact that you tried.

For now, Kelly will keep saying I am not funny and keep living in denial of the jealousy he has for this trait.

Bless him. At least he is good in the kitchen.

Disclaimer: Kelly is actually very hilarious, he just saves his material on the most part for when we are alone which I love and feel is a real treat for me… (Or if he is drunk, he will share it with everybody else )

Love you honey  :-D :-D  

I think it is now fairly safe to announce.

My significant other and I, after much discussion, have decided to return to ‘The Big Apple’ to get married. We thought long and hard about it all and discussed it over and over and it was what felt right.

I think one of the posts on this blog inspired it really. Neither of us were happy with the plans we were making here. It had nothing to do with each other, we love each other. It had to do with how little it was becomming about him, myself and the little ones and more to do with every one else.

In addition to this, we have had complications with family which have been rather heart breaking for the pair of us so we felt we should go back to the place that any complications, any interference disapated while we were there. A place where the focus was on us without worrying and hurting over a situation neither of us want and both of us would have loved to fix. Alas, some thing go beyond our control and we have to keep on living.

So, first step was asking Miss 7 how she felt about it. Of course she was extremely excited and approving of it. Then we called my parents and our “bridal party” Vee, Dan and Warrick (Our intended MC) who were ecstatic about it. We then informed any other friends and family about it who we wanted to know. We got incredible support, amazing responses and a whole line of people who are ready to come over with us for the occassion.

I imagine it to be like that scene in the Beverley Hillbillies movie where all the family are on the plane for Jed’s wedding! Someone just needs to bring the banjo and play deliverence!

Now, for our privacy purposes, I will not expose the date here or the finite details. However, I will give progress reports.

So our original venue has been cancelled, and we are well on the way to planning our NYC wedding. We even have a lovely friend of Kel’s who lives there giving us a helping hand!

To those who wanted to be there and can’t make it… Do not worry, we are breaking the wedding in two and doing something special when we get home (Or before we go… We’ll see)

We love you all!!!

Remember this: We have every intention of winning lotto before then and paying for our lovlies to come over! So don’t panic ok! It’s all good! (Disclaimer: We might not actually win lotto)

Usually, I aim to write posts humourously. I just felt this time every one deserved an explanation.

Next time I will be hilarious! If not, mildly amusing, if not at least I will laugh at myself

P.S. If you are wondering about my lack of posts for 2 weeks or so, refer to previous post

Hello people! We’re back! And I am so sorry! Some creep tried to hack my blog and we have had it under maintenance for the last couple of weeks! I promise, I was not slack! But we’re back in full swing. So ‘Hello!’

So sorry everyone! My blog has been down the last couple of days due to reasons we are still looking into. Aside from this I am now in a 2 week intensive unit in summer school at Uni so it is just time.

So, today’s thought…

Do you actually believe in the whole concept of Mars vs Venus? I don’t know how many times I have heard now “You should read the book, totally insightful”. Me, being me, refuses to read it. It is a little like that whole Twilight phenomenon. People tell me to read that and to this day I have not seen the movies. What’s so appealing about a twinkly pale boy anyway and some depressive chick who fawns over sparkle boy when we all know (And remember I haven’t seen it) that werewolf dude is way hotter anyway!

Anyway, back to the subject at hand… Mars Venus. Kelly and I are like any other normal couple, we fight. We fight over silly things, we fight because we are tired, we fight because there is no one else better to do it with and we fight over the fact that I say fight and he says “disagreement or argument”

Well that’s just awkward…

Now here’s the thing. Kelly, as previously mentioned, in the event of getting cross will say what he has to say then shut up like a vault. It almost feels like he opens the safe, I get a glimpse of all the cash inside then he shuts it before I get a chance to grab it.

I, however, not only open the safe, but I run inside it and start throwing out all the treasure that lies within, then when I run out, I pull the whole thing apart and start throwing all the components.

Don’t get me wrong, we don’t often argue but when we do I often believe it would be comedic to everyone else watching. In the heat of the moment, I think he has a mapped out strategy of how to win. He shuts up, I (being talkative by nature) waffle even more and then get more and more frustrated as a result of it.

Here is the most common way our argument will go:

Kelly: *Says whatever it is that is bothering him*
Me: “What the hell? That didn’t happen! If you want me to say sorry I won’t because that never happened!”
Kelly: “I don’t want you to say sorry, I am expressing my opinion and I am allowed to be pissed off about it even if you don’t agree”
Me: “Pfffttttt… #)*#*)!@(*(!)*#@(!#($#*$!&$*!(&@(&$(*$!(&!(*!*!(!*(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Kelly: Fine! *Shuts up*
Me: “#!$***)@!*)#(!)#*!*)!* and then @)*!)*#*)!)*)!*# because @)!*#@)#$**!) but you didn’t )#*)$!))!)!*$ and so I have to !)*#*$)!$)@*!*)!)* and you don’t understand because @)#!*)!*)#!$*$)!(**!@)#*!)……..
…………….
……………. Kelly?”
Kelly: *silence* Keeps doing work.
Me: “Kelly?”
Kelly: *silence* Keeps doing work.
Me: “KELLY! Stop IGNORING ME! I AM STANDING RIGHT HERE!!! And you )*!)!$(*!)I(!@(#)(!)*$*)!*)!$(!)*U#&(*$@#*)!!!!!”
Kelly: “I’m not ignoring you, I said what I wanted to say so @)$*!$)*()@!@*)$))*!!)$*)(I*$()#)(!$(#@!(*##)!)(#(#)()#(~~()~()#)$*!”
Me: *gasps* “Don’t you speak to me like that! $!*!)!*)!(@#)(!@()$$(!)(!_@$)$(!#$!!!!!!!”

*silence, staring, more staring, silence, staring, more silence, staring, silence, more silence, staring*

Kelly: *Smirks* “Your point is?”

And this is where there is an epic failure on my behalf. I stand there, staring at him, trying to be very very very angry when I pause, realise I have no idea what I was just going on about and am forced to say “I don’t know”…

Marvin’s my hero!

At this point I end up giggling, telling him to stop looking at me with his smirky and pouty face because it is making me laugh and then we end up cuddling (YES! Cuddling!) as it occurs to me I have no idea how the argument even started in the first place or what the hell I am arguing about.

I am the worst person in the world for arguing. I don’t like confrontation and I am a big pushover but if someone starts something with me, I will keep rambling to prove a point.

It’s just a shame I can never quite remember what that point is, or really if I even had one.

It just goes to show, either I am a big softie of Kelly just has a really funny face!

Either way, it doesn’t matter. I am rather squishy around the edges and I happen to love Kelly’s face… It’s all good

I actually think Mars and Venus is a generalised concept.

Oh mate, 5 hours sleep and a super hot day and I am knackered.

Check in tomorrow for the next ramble. I actually have a story to share about my Saturday night!

Also, for the next fortnight I am doing summer school. Oh hoorah!

Totally chosen my outfit for the first day! Think I will make a good impression?